It wasn’t a difficult choice, another 28 days into H365, to decide to go back to the hotel to see if the next 28 tasks were there. I decided this must be some sort of meeting place for the group so as before I checked in and waited. I somehow expected to wait a long time but this time I hardly had time to consider trying to find them when the phone rang. I thought it would be the hotel manager as last time but this time a girl’s voice chirped down the line to me.
“Hi, we’re in the lobby, what are you doing up in your room? Come and join us, we want to hear all about it.”
So they really did exist. It was as though I was in a dream, slipping on my jacket and walking down the long sweeping staircase to the lounge where I could hear the happy chatter of people and the clatter of cups and plates. As I entered the room they all turned as one and looked at me. I felt a moment of frozen time. I took half a step forward, my face felt as though it were no longer under my control as it smiled on its own, so wide and beaming that it hurt my cheeks. The fire crackled and fizzed behind them but they sat as a tableau and waited. It was no more than a second later that the girl who had called on the phone leaped up and running to me embraced me and pulling me towards the group implored me to join them for lunch.
Once again the food they were eating tasted out of this world: how was that so? They were eager for me to talk about my experiences of the previous 56 days. They did not laugh at my silly coincidences and they weren’t at all surprised about the Day 15 episode. It all sounded quite real and usual to them: maybe they accepted everything that came along because to them nothing was real anyway, or maybe it was that living with H365 as they did meant that stuff like that kept happening so regularly that they were accustomed to it. Either way it felt good to be able to share the story of the rollercoaster of the last 56 days with people who totally understood what I was talking about .
As we sat talking I noticed a girl curled up on a large leather winged armchair beside the fire. She wore a red beret and her cap of shining blonde hair could just be seen curling from under it. Once I’d noticed her I just couldn’t take my eyes off her. As I looked my attention was drawn to the pendant she was wearing - an incredible piece of jewellery. It was like a magic symbol that swirled and twisted, with a deep blue gem at its centre that glowed against the pale skin of her neck. She saw me looking and turned her glorious green eyes upon me and laughed at me, with me and for me so that I felt as if a great wave had washed over me and rushed through my ears, my eyes, my whole senses - my heart.
A shaft of early afternoon sunlight beamed through the great latticed window and someone suggested that it was time to go out now that the rain had stopped. Before I knew it we were streaming as one out into the car park and thence into the lane. Someone tossed a coin to choose which way to turn and thereafter at any place at which we had a choice of routes out came the coin until at last we found ourselves deep in an ancient oak wood. Up until that moment we had been a noisy vocal group, pulling at coats and shaking rain drenched branches as others passed beneath but now all that ceased. It was as though we had entered a great cathedral. I moved ahead drawn on into the wood by the beauty of it all. I so seldom had the opportunity to just be, but the sheer presence and ageless silent wisdom of this place brought a hush onto the whole group.
It was some time before I suddenly realised that I was quite alone. I turned to look at the others and they were not behind me. I had lost them, they must have wandered away down a different path. I looked about, how ridiculous. They had only been a few paces behind. A feeling of fear gripped me and I suddenly became intensely aware that for the first time in my life I was alone. The late afternoon sun was rapidly fading to twilight and I knew that I must go back at once or would be totally lost. It didn't take long for me to realise that I was completely lost already. All the trees looked the same and the seemingly obvious path was now no more than a succession of grassy clearings and not like a track at all: worst of all, it seemed to be getting dark. My stomach began to feel tight and I began to run but after a time I knew that I was going in circles as an unusually shaped fallen tree was definitely the same one I had passed before.
My breath was coming out in sobs as I put one of my hands on the fallen trunk and leaned forward to catch my breath. As I rested myself against the tree I realised I’d been running on my fear, and chuckled at the thought that it was something I probably did in some way or other every day of my life in some situation or other. The happenings and feelings of the last few weeks spun around in my mind like a real-life roulette wheel, then suddenly stopped on one of the 365 tasks that I had done, something about sitting quietly for 5 minutes in total stillness. That was what I needed to do right now, to stop the racing thoughts and fears churning around in my head. I made myself comfortable in a low crook of the fallen trunk, closed my eyes and let the internal whirlwind slowly subside. I had no way of telling whether 5 minutes had passed or not, but eventually felt myself become more centred and clear. My breathing had slowed back to normal and I now felt much more able to rationally and calmly sort out my situation in an adult and sensible way. That was a very simple and useful task and I vowed to make more use of it in my everyday life.
I slowly opened my eyes and rested my hands on the trunk either side of me. My right hand felt something smooth like a coin in the fabric of the bark almost as if it had grown in there. I looked down at it and saw the edge of something made of metal, about the size of a coin, embedded in a deep crack that looked to have been there for a long time. The moss had curled up over it so that only an edge showed. Despite my predicament I was intrigued and felt compelled to try and prize this thing out of the tree.
I rummaged through my jacket pocket and found my house key. Ideal. I hacked away at the disk oblivious to the darkening wood and after working away for some minutes I freed the disc and tipped it onto my hand. One look and I dropped it on the forest floor like it was white hot coal and stood looking down at it, stunned. I felt slightly sick, the unaccustomed running had made me feel light headed and I grasped the tree roots. The thing I had dug out of the tree was not a coin or a bottle top it was a pendant identical to the one the blond girl in the leather chair had been wearing.
I panicked, very suddenly. Without stopping to pick up the pendant I turned and ran. It was almost completely dark in the wood now and as I stumbled over roots I wanted to call out for help but some primeval instinct begged me not to make my presence known to whatever it was that hunted me. I wanted to look back and see if I was followed as if the pendant had woken some hideous beast that was seeking me through the woods but I dared not turn and look in case it was. I became so exhausted I had to stop. I could hear nothing but the thumping of the blood in my ears. I was alone, nothing hunted me – only myself. I leaned back against a great tree and looked up. A single star shone through the sparse pattern of leaves. I felt a sudden peace. I must keep walking and I would use that star to help me. It may be the wrong direction but the wood couldn’t go on forever and if I maintained a straight enough line eventually the forest would end. Taking a deep breath and feeling somewhat braver I started walking and to my surprise within a very short distance came to a wide gravelled forestry drive that stretched completely straight in each direction and there at the end of it was my star. Feeling almost jaunty I started to walk and then I saw coming towards me some headlights. I stepped aside as the large vehicle thundered along the gravel track kicking stones out behind it. As it came level with me it careered to a halt and a bearded face looked out at me.
“Hello!” called the driver, “been looking for you, your friends had to go but they sent me to pick you up.”
“Am I glad to see you,” I said climbing into the passenger seat, “I got totally lost. I just decided to stick to the track, could have been walking for hours.”
I chatted amiably about the wood and his job and as he drew up outside the hotel I felt a great sense of relief. Perhaps it wasn’t all so spooky as I thought. The darkness and unfamiliarity of the forest had scared me and heightened my senses. Now sitting with a normal guy with a normal job in a warm comfortable car the adventure in the wood seemed almost ridiculous.
“Oh, here” said the ranger reaching into the glove box, “you need this.”
He handed me an envelope it was a plain brown envelope as before. I turned to look at him. His eyes met mine then slid away as he straightened up to drive on. I climbed out and walked round to his window to thank him. His arm rested on the sill his gnarled fingers spread out along the frame. There was earth under the nails and moss still adhered to the creases and folds of skin, they were woodman’s hands.
“Thanks,” I murmured, he didn’t answer but his hand slid off the sill and out of sight. I almost ran to my room. The envelope was cold and slightly damp. Probably been in the glove box a while. I tore it open and pulled out some sheets of paper, they had muddy marks on and a few damp leaves came with them. But there was something else in the envelope I dipped into the bottom corner and felt something hard and round amongst the fragments of woodland litter. I grasped it with the tips of my fingers and lifting it out flipped it onto my palm. Amongst the leaves, bark and damp moss lay the pendant glowing in the dim light of the hotel bedroom.
“Hi, we’re in the lobby, what are you doing up in your room? Come and join us, we want to hear all about it.”
So they really did exist. It was as though I was in a dream, slipping on my jacket and walking down the long sweeping staircase to the lounge where I could hear the happy chatter of people and the clatter of cups and plates. As I entered the room they all turned as one and looked at me. I felt a moment of frozen time. I took half a step forward, my face felt as though it were no longer under my control as it smiled on its own, so wide and beaming that it hurt my cheeks. The fire crackled and fizzed behind them but they sat as a tableau and waited. It was no more than a second later that the girl who had called on the phone leaped up and running to me embraced me and pulling me towards the group implored me to join them for lunch.
Once again the food they were eating tasted out of this world: how was that so? They were eager for me to talk about my experiences of the previous 56 days. They did not laugh at my silly coincidences and they weren’t at all surprised about the Day 15 episode. It all sounded quite real and usual to them: maybe they accepted everything that came along because to them nothing was real anyway, or maybe it was that living with H365 as they did meant that stuff like that kept happening so regularly that they were accustomed to it. Either way it felt good to be able to share the story of the rollercoaster of the last 56 days with people who totally understood what I was talking about .
As we sat talking I noticed a girl curled up on a large leather winged armchair beside the fire. She wore a red beret and her cap of shining blonde hair could just be seen curling from under it. Once I’d noticed her I just couldn’t take my eyes off her. As I looked my attention was drawn to the pendant she was wearing - an incredible piece of jewellery. It was like a magic symbol that swirled and twisted, with a deep blue gem at its centre that glowed against the pale skin of her neck. She saw me looking and turned her glorious green eyes upon me and laughed at me, with me and for me so that I felt as if a great wave had washed over me and rushed through my ears, my eyes, my whole senses - my heart.
A shaft of early afternoon sunlight beamed through the great latticed window and someone suggested that it was time to go out now that the rain had stopped. Before I knew it we were streaming as one out into the car park and thence into the lane. Someone tossed a coin to choose which way to turn and thereafter at any place at which we had a choice of routes out came the coin until at last we found ourselves deep in an ancient oak wood. Up until that moment we had been a noisy vocal group, pulling at coats and shaking rain drenched branches as others passed beneath but now all that ceased. It was as though we had entered a great cathedral. I moved ahead drawn on into the wood by the beauty of it all. I so seldom had the opportunity to just be, but the sheer presence and ageless silent wisdom of this place brought a hush onto the whole group.
It was some time before I suddenly realised that I was quite alone. I turned to look at the others and they were not behind me. I had lost them, they must have wandered away down a different path. I looked about, how ridiculous. They had only been a few paces behind. A feeling of fear gripped me and I suddenly became intensely aware that for the first time in my life I was alone. The late afternoon sun was rapidly fading to twilight and I knew that I must go back at once or would be totally lost. It didn't take long for me to realise that I was completely lost already. All the trees looked the same and the seemingly obvious path was now no more than a succession of grassy clearings and not like a track at all: worst of all, it seemed to be getting dark. My stomach began to feel tight and I began to run but after a time I knew that I was going in circles as an unusually shaped fallen tree was definitely the same one I had passed before.
My breath was coming out in sobs as I put one of my hands on the fallen trunk and leaned forward to catch my breath. As I rested myself against the tree I realised I’d been running on my fear, and chuckled at the thought that it was something I probably did in some way or other every day of my life in some situation or other. The happenings and feelings of the last few weeks spun around in my mind like a real-life roulette wheel, then suddenly stopped on one of the 365 tasks that I had done, something about sitting quietly for 5 minutes in total stillness. That was what I needed to do right now, to stop the racing thoughts and fears churning around in my head. I made myself comfortable in a low crook of the fallen trunk, closed my eyes and let the internal whirlwind slowly subside. I had no way of telling whether 5 minutes had passed or not, but eventually felt myself become more centred and clear. My breathing had slowed back to normal and I now felt much more able to rationally and calmly sort out my situation in an adult and sensible way. That was a very simple and useful task and I vowed to make more use of it in my everyday life.
I slowly opened my eyes and rested my hands on the trunk either side of me. My right hand felt something smooth like a coin in the fabric of the bark almost as if it had grown in there. I looked down at it and saw the edge of something made of metal, about the size of a coin, embedded in a deep crack that looked to have been there for a long time. The moss had curled up over it so that only an edge showed. Despite my predicament I was intrigued and felt compelled to try and prize this thing out of the tree.
I rummaged through my jacket pocket and found my house key. Ideal. I hacked away at the disk oblivious to the darkening wood and after working away for some minutes I freed the disc and tipped it onto my hand. One look and I dropped it on the forest floor like it was white hot coal and stood looking down at it, stunned. I felt slightly sick, the unaccustomed running had made me feel light headed and I grasped the tree roots. The thing I had dug out of the tree was not a coin or a bottle top it was a pendant identical to the one the blond girl in the leather chair had been wearing.
I panicked, very suddenly. Without stopping to pick up the pendant I turned and ran. It was almost completely dark in the wood now and as I stumbled over roots I wanted to call out for help but some primeval instinct begged me not to make my presence known to whatever it was that hunted me. I wanted to look back and see if I was followed as if the pendant had woken some hideous beast that was seeking me through the woods but I dared not turn and look in case it was. I became so exhausted I had to stop. I could hear nothing but the thumping of the blood in my ears. I was alone, nothing hunted me – only myself. I leaned back against a great tree and looked up. A single star shone through the sparse pattern of leaves. I felt a sudden peace. I must keep walking and I would use that star to help me. It may be the wrong direction but the wood couldn’t go on forever and if I maintained a straight enough line eventually the forest would end. Taking a deep breath and feeling somewhat braver I started walking and to my surprise within a very short distance came to a wide gravelled forestry drive that stretched completely straight in each direction and there at the end of it was my star. Feeling almost jaunty I started to walk and then I saw coming towards me some headlights. I stepped aside as the large vehicle thundered along the gravel track kicking stones out behind it. As it came level with me it careered to a halt and a bearded face looked out at me.
“Hello!” called the driver, “been looking for you, your friends had to go but they sent me to pick you up.”
“Am I glad to see you,” I said climbing into the passenger seat, “I got totally lost. I just decided to stick to the track, could have been walking for hours.”
I chatted amiably about the wood and his job and as he drew up outside the hotel I felt a great sense of relief. Perhaps it wasn’t all so spooky as I thought. The darkness and unfamiliarity of the forest had scared me and heightened my senses. Now sitting with a normal guy with a normal job in a warm comfortable car the adventure in the wood seemed almost ridiculous.
“Oh, here” said the ranger reaching into the glove box, “you need this.”
He handed me an envelope it was a plain brown envelope as before. I turned to look at him. His eyes met mine then slid away as he straightened up to drive on. I climbed out and walked round to his window to thank him. His arm rested on the sill his gnarled fingers spread out along the frame. There was earth under the nails and moss still adhered to the creases and folds of skin, they were woodman’s hands.
“Thanks,” I murmured, he didn’t answer but his hand slid off the sill and out of sight. I almost ran to my room. The envelope was cold and slightly damp. Probably been in the glove box a while. I tore it open and pulled out some sheets of paper, they had muddy marks on and a few damp leaves came with them. But there was something else in the envelope I dipped into the bottom corner and felt something hard and round amongst the fragments of woodland litter. I grasped it with the tips of my fingers and lifting it out flipped it onto my palm. Amongst the leaves, bark and damp moss lay the pendant glowing in the dim light of the hotel bedroom.
